Crap that Annoys Me (Version 2.1)

Today’s blog post will mainly be about things that vex or confuse me and my misbegotten attempts to comprehend them.

1.   Is there some kind of vast rumor going around that using turn signals causes AIDS?  Their usage seems to have all but disappeared and it annoys the bejeezus out of me.  Is this just a metro Atlanta phenomenon?  Perhaps the youth of today have heard that turn signals are only for squares. Am I just a well-intentioned, unhip throwback to happier days with less car crashes?
2.   Can someone please explain the appeal of nauseating chick flicks?  Am I the only female in America that not only avoids them like the plague, but actively LOATHES them?  There are, of course, certain noteworthy exceptions to this.  There are movies that appeal more to the female population that are intelligent and yes, romantic, without being sappy or predictable.  To wit: Breakfast at Tiffany’s; Before Sunrise (the whole franchise, really); The Princess Bride; Chocolat; Love, Actually; and the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice. (Ladies--click on this.  Just trust me.)  Stoppit already, Nicholas Sparks.   I’ve had enough.     
3. I am starting to get homicidal regarding Chronic Facebook Posters.  I am not being hypocritical—yes, I use Facebook, and yes, I post things.  The folks that chap my ass are the ones that cannot go a day without describing their trip to the dentist, their lunch, the cute thing their kid/pet/husband did (which are never that cute), or their mood every hour.  I have taken these idiots off of my news feed, but new ones keep sneaking in.

(         4.  Why this is necessary.    I think it is supposed to be a telephone table, but I could be wrong.

And this year’s FIRST official installment of Crap that Made me Laugh Today.

I wonder what is under his kilt. *winkwink*

Nice to see the BBC has a sense of humor. 

I think I love this restaurant owner.  Too bad they live in the Arctic.

Latest Kindle Reviews

I am still loving my Kindle—as I mentioned before, it has introduced me to a world of books that I might not have encountered otherwise.  To start the year off properly, I have an update list of the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Sorry for the trite movie-title cliché—it couldn’t be helped. Well, to be fair, I suppose it could, but I am too lazy to come up with a better one at the moment.

The excellent:

• ·         “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Real Magic” by Emily Croy Barker.  Halfway through and very impressed thus far.  Kind of an “Alice in Wonderland” meets “The Perilous Gard” combination.
• ·         “The Light Princess” by George McDonald.  Charming, delicate prose.  I realize now why this is a classic of YA literature.
• ·         “Five Children and It” by E. Nesbit.  I stumbled across this series thanks to Ms. Pamela Dean, author of the gorgeous “Tam Lin”.  For fans of C.S. Lewis and Roald Dahl.
• ·         “Spindle’s End” by Robin McKinley. A fresh and lively take on the “Sleeping Beauty” premise.  Well-written and fascinating with solid characters and superb prose.

The good:

• ·         “Sea of Secrets” by Amanda DeWees.  A lovely, if predictable, Edwardian mystery and romance.  Well-written with likable characters. 
• ·         “Bridget Jones: Mad about the Boy” by Helen Fielding.  This is the long-anticipated sequel to the hilarious, irreverent series.  It had much of Fielding’s trademark humor.  The eponymous lead character is as slapdash, clueless, and lovable as ever. Spoiler alert: I DID hate that Mark Darcy wasn’t in the picture anymore.  It kind of colored the entire book negatively for me. Good beach read, but a bit of an unsatisfactory finale.
• ·         “The Bookman’s Tale” by Charlie Lovett.  After reading A.S. Byatt’s “Possession”, this book feels a little unoriginal. (If you haven’t read Ms. Byatt’s book, go get it!  Fabulous.  Don’t bother with the movie.)  I did love the combination of literary mystery, ancient family feud, and murder mystery.  As an avowed Stratfordian, I also enjoyed his take on proving Shakespeare’s authorship.  His characters, particularly the women, seem clichéd and shallow.  On the whole a good read but not innovative.

The bad:

• ·         “The Program” by Charlie Lovett.  As I did enjoy the aforementioned novel above, I decided to give this one a shot.  Blech.  The formatting on the Kindle version was completely cattywumpus and the entire book felt like it had been penned by a high-schooler.  The guy just cannot write believable women.  The idea behind the novel was unique but the writing, unfortunately, was not.  In the hands of another author this might have been outstanding.

I just got this in my e-mail.  Yes, it's cheesy.  But hot damn I am so stoked about FSU's football season.  Thought I would re-post.

Holiday Cheer:

‘Twas the night after Auburn

And all through the land,

Not a “Roll Tide” was uttered

By a Crimson Tide fan.

They use to be boisterous,

They use to be loud,

They use to be cocky,

They use to be proud.

But they lost all their swagger,

They lost all their swing.

For one little second

Had changed everything.

The score it was even.

The clock had run dry.

When Nicholas Saban

Then started to cry.

He demanded a second

Be put on the clock.

The worse that could happen,

A miss or a block?

But fate it is fickle,

And greed has a price,

And what happened next

Just wasn’t too nice.

His kicker’s performance

Was one of pure shame,

So he put a green rookie

Right into the game.

The kick was a boomer

Of 56 yards,

But the extra yard needed

Was not in the cards.

And back in the end zone

A lone Tiger stood.

He caught that ol’ football,

He caught it real good.

He started to run,

He heard the cheers grow.

The Crimson Tide offence,

Too Fat and too Slow.

One hundred and nine

He ran for a score.

If needed he could have

Ran one hundred more.

The crowd it erupted

While storming the field.

The Crimson Tide’s season

Was settled and sealed.

A cry of “War Eagle”

Soon echoed the plain.

Nick Saban’s expression

Was one of pure pain.

And in Tuscaloosa

You could hear a pin drop.

And in Tallahassee

A TOMAHAWK CHOP!

For the night after Auburn

The Tide does not roll.

The new BOSS in town,

Wears GARNET AND GOLD!

GO NOLES!!!!!