Someone Get Me an Infusion of Brain Cells, Please. Review of "Confessions of a Beauty Addict" by Nadine Haobsh

So. Many. Errors.  Seriously, in order to calculate the sheer number of spelling and grammatical errors in the text I would need an advanced degree in higher mathematics.  I lost count after 15 in the first chapter. The author supposedly went to some highfalutin’ school.  Perhaps if she went to them with a copy of this book they could rescind her degree and she could get her money back.  

There are so many problems with this book, but the main issue I had is that the main character makes the Kardashians look complex and well-adjusted.  She is such an awful human being that I was actually rooting for her nemesis, a clichéd, trampy type named Delilah [insert retching noise].  I was praying that there might be a snappy surprise ending in which the bitchy Delilah cold-cocked our protagonist with the September issue of Vogue* and put me out of my misery, but no such luck.  

The main premise of the book seems to be an exposé of the smarmy payola and corruption of the beauty industry combined with a tired tale of a protagonist who loses everything and has to fight her way back.  Oh, and she might learn some stuff along the way.  The novel recounts the story of an up-and-coming beauty editor at a hip, flourishing magazine.  Suffice it to say, the author named her Bella.  [retch noise again] Really?  How subtle.  That would be like having a protagonist who sells barrels and naming him Cooper.  I won’t attempt more of a plot summary as there isn’t a plot of any substance or plausibility.  I seriously considered sticking this one in the “did not finish” pile.  I deserve a damn medal for competing it—it was that painful.  But that's me--I'm a giver, y'all.

The shame of this is that the author’s blog is charming, funny, and insightful.  None of those characteristics were evident in this mess of a book.  Please stick to non-fiction, Ms. Haobsh—or I will chase you down with the September issue of Vogue.

*For those of you not cognizant of fashion magazines, the September issue of Vogue is roughly the thickness and weight of a text in astrophysics set atop the Gutenberg bible.